Orinentation to the Secular World: Part II

So there are some things that I love about MNSU. On Friday Trent invited me to go out with him and the english facutly (even though he works in the chemistry department) for happy hour just because he wanted to be able to introduce me around to people because he thinks I'm cool. I'll admit, its nice to be thought highly of.

But Friday night I went to an Ex Ed (Experiential education) potluck and it felt like a regular college party. I mean these are all graduate students, and professionals in the field and they were just getting plastered. I did have some good conversations, and I met some really cool people, but at the end of the night the object was alcohol. So I left. I don't mind it in moderation, or in small groups, but 50+ people all getting slammed was too much for me. It would be so great to be a part of a community again, and to have that connectedness with people again, I crave that, but I wonder when the night desinigrates like that if our values are so out of alignment that I'll never really feel integrated.

So I came to the lake this weekend, and have been hanging out with my dad and Nancy. It's been great to relax, and read and just catch up with them. Today we pulled out the shore station and most of the water crafts and so Brian and Nick and their friends came over to help with some of the heavy lifting. (Brian and Nick Earnest have lived nextdoor to us for 16 years. Brian is 24 and Nick is 26, I had crushes on both of them for years growing up.) So today they noticed that the long lost blonde daugher was back and invited me over for a few drinks tonight. I said thanks and I would catch them later, with no intention of going over there. Well, then after dinner Andrew and Chris showed up on my front doorstep with a beer and an another invitation to come over, so I went, it was either that or more Hume.

I'll spare you the details of the evening, but most of it sounded something like this.
"Hey Rachel!"
"Yea?"
"I made a shot, special for you"
"How sweet of you, but I don't do shots."
"Oh come on, don't you know we're trying to get you drunk so we can take advantage of you?"
"Admirable gentlemen, really it is, but its not going to happen, sorry to disappoint."
"oh sassy.... i like that.... come take a shot with me."

and so on, and so forth.

At some point I tired of being fed shots and of boys being flirts and looking for excuses to touch me (the only other two girls there were Brian's and Nick's girlfriends). So I waited until no one was really paying attention and left. And my aunt wonders why I insist that I will be single for a long time. If this is the lot that I have to choose from outside of the small sheltered Gordon world that I have become an adult in then screw it, I'd rather be single. Seriously, these guys don't care what you think about, what you have done with your life, what your vision is or how big you can dream. They don't care where you will be in 10 years, or that you want to have your PhD before you are 3o. They just want to know if they give you enough jack hidden in coke will you disappear to the back of the cabin with them so a buzzed furvor you can stroke their egos. No thank you.

And people wonder why I'm not chomping at the bit to make new friends..... seriously.....